I'm Just Irene

God asked Adam this question in the garden…

God is all-knowing. He names every star in the sky, he knows the number of hairs on our heads, so why would He ask Adam where he was?  Surely God knew the answer…. but did Adam? 

 Adam and Eve had eaten from the tree against God’s command. They realized their nakedness and shame set in.  When they heard God walking in the garden they hid from Him.  That brings tears to my eyes just writing it.  They hid.  They hid from God, from their Creator.  It brings tears to my eyes because I know I have hidden from God.  I did it for 35 years.  And I still have a tendency to hide.  

In their hiding, God asked,  “Where are you?”  They were hiding and He called out to them.  God was initiating.  This is a glimpse of God’s desire for reconciliation.  God was calling to Adam, “Where are you?”  It was a call for Adam to acknowledge his spiritually lost condition.

Now we know Adam didn’t respond that way.  He didn’t say, “Lord I messed up, I didn’t listen to you.  I am lost. Forgive me, save me.”  He immediately went into excuses and blaming for his lost condition.  

We do this too when God asks us, “Where are you?”  We make excuses and blame to explain our spiritual lostness.  God is essentially asking where we are in relationship to Him.  Are we lost?  Have we veered off track? Lost our focus?  Can we be honest with Him about where we are?  Or do we want to make excuses?  “I just don’t have time” “I’m just too busy” “I’ll get right with God later”  “I have other things to take care of first”  “I am doing alright, I don’t need to spend time with God.”  “I know I should be spending time with God but…”

That question has been reverberating in creation since the first time God spoke it.  “Where are you?”  Take some time to reflect on that question.  Go to God in prayer and be honest.  He already knows where you are.  Tell Him.  No excuses.  Just be real.  It’s a humbling prayer to tell God you are lost, that you haven’t wanted to spend time with Him, that you have been trying to navigate this life on your own, that you have allowed your sin, the cares of this world to separate you from Him, but He knows, He is patient and long-suffering.  He desires to be reconciled with us, He sent Jesus so we would have a way back to Him.  

If you hear His Voice calling, “Where Are You?”  Don’t hide. 

Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?” Genesis 3:9

Like mentioned in my previous post, it’s in our nature to make excuses, point fingers and avoid admitting our guilt. Another thing we are inclined to do is attempt to cover our iniquities. Shame is natural for us. In the garden, Adam and Eve ate the fruit that God had commanded them not to and their eyes were opened to their nakedness, seeing this they sewed fig leaves together to make coverings for themselves.

They made coverings for themselves. Friends, we do this too. It’s something, just like Adam and Eve, that we are prone to do, it’s in our nature. Our pride moves us to cover ourselves. We cower behind our jobs, our various roles in life, our works, we live distracted, busy, lazy, anything to keep from addressing our real issues within.

Take a look at King David. He had an affair with a married woman, got her pregnant, and then attempted to cover it up by having her husband come home from battle to “be with” his wife. When that didn’t work he arranged to have her husband killed on the frontlines of battle! Oh the lengths we will go to attempt to cover our iniquities!

For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light. Luke 8:17

There was a point in my life when a verse like that would scare me. There is NOTHING that is secret that will not be revealed. NOTHING. I had waaaay too many skeletons in my closet. I feared being exposed and resolved to carry some things about my life to the grave but I would imagine having to answer to God when I died, that legit freaked me out. “There was no way He would be letting me in heaven.” I’d think.

So, I ignored those fears and made my own attempts at covering my sickness by focusing on being a “good person”, keeping busy with work and life and just keeping up an outward image. I avoided any deep Christian friendships and settled on Sunday morning sermons being the extent of my “relationship” with God. That worked to hide the sickness inside for a while, but deep down I couldn’t shake knowing I was a fake, that no amount of being a “good person” could cover the shame I walked with daily. But God.

When God truly got a hold of me a little over four years ago, He showed me that I could stop trying to make a cover for myself. That all my “righteous deeds” were like filthy rags. (Isaiah 64:6) And I’m not talking about a dirty, greasy shop rag. Filthy rags in that verse refers to a rag used for a woman on her period. Gross, right? Well that’s how God see’s our pathetic attempts to cover our iniquities. He’s provided a better covering. The ultimate cover, the Precious Blood of Christ.

As I allowed His light to reveal everything hidden in my life, I could face exposure without fear because of the Blood. It is the grounds by which I can BOLDLY enter the throne room, naked and unashamed before the Almighty God, not by my works, but by the Blood of Jesus Christ.

 knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold,  but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot. – 1 Peter 1:18-19

We inherited our sin nature from Adam and Eve, every last one of us. God’s Word calls our ways futile. In the original language futile means vain or useless. Our attempts to cover our iniquities are exactly that, vain and useless. Our fig leaves don’t cover anything.

Our Father in heaven knows this truth, in the garden the first animal sacrifice was made when He made coverings for Adam and Eve with animal skins. God provided the covering, a foretaste of the covering to come, the Blood of the Lamb without blemish or spot, the Lamb slain before the foundation of the world that cleanses us from our unrighteousness.

One of my favorite books is The Normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee. In it he says this about the blood of Christ:

What, after all, is your basis of approach to God? Do you come to him on the uncertain ground of your feeling, the feeling that you may have achieved something for God today? Or is your approach based on something far more secure, namely, the fact that the Blood has been shed, and that God looks on the Blood and is satisfied? Of course, if it were conceivably possible for the Blood to suffer any change, the basis of your approach to God might be less trustworthy. But the Blood has never changed and never will. Your approach to God is therefore always in boldness; and that boldness is yours through the Blood and never through your personal attainment. Whatever be your measure of attainment today or yesterday or the day before, as soon as you make a conscious move into the Most Holy Place, immediately you have to take your stand upon the safe and only ground of the shed Blood. Whether you have had a good day or a bad day, whether you have consciously sinned or not, your basis of approach is always the same –the Blood of Christ. God’s acceptance of that Blood is the ground upon which you may enter, and there is no other.

There is no other. So good. I strongly encourage everyone to spend time prayerfully studying about the Blood of Christ, in it there is so much power and freedom. In Christ we have been liberated from our old ways, we can stop hiding and striving to cover ourselves. What are you covering? God already knows, lay down your fig leaves and let Him cover you. Experience the joy of being naked and unashamed.

I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.
John 15:5

Jesus said apart from Him we can do NOTHING.

That word in the Greek is oudeís and it means….. NOTHING. Periodt.

Here’s the thing, we’re prideful. (For the record if you don’t think you have a pride problem, that’s a good indication that you do.) And because of our pride, we don’t want to admit that we can do nothing. There is something so deep in our nature that wants to cling to being good or being known as good.

Paul said in Romans,

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. Romans 7:18

Apart from Christ NOTHING good dwells in us.

Even with that truth we still don’t want to admit it. We don’t want to admit our weaknesses, our struggles, insert whatever issue here. Trust me, I am preaching to myself. (hello pride) We want to justify our sinful nature with excuses, our moods, our feelings, other people, circumstances, all the things. We even say crazy things like “The devil made me do it”

Think about it. We’ve been doing this since the garden. When Adam and Eve made the decision to eat the forbidden fruit, they didn’t admit it. They played the blame game. Adam blamed it on the woman God gave him and then Eve blamed it on the serpent. It is in our nature to point fingers and make excuses instead of admitting we were wrong.

So here’s the good news. God already knows this. The truth is we all fall short, no one is righteous, not one. (Romans 3:10) It’s why Jesus came. Jesus is the only remedy to our fallen state. But we can’t be lifted up if we don’t admit we are fallen. It is already true, we just need to admit it. There is POWER in it.

It’s why Paul said,

Therefore, I will MOST GLADLY boast all the more about my WEAKNESSES, so that CHRIST’S POWER may reside in me. 2 Corin 12:9b, emphasis added

And in the original language, it’s so beautiful. The part about Christ’s power residing in me is also translated abide. The power of Christ abides in me, just like the beginning verse, “whoever abides in me, and I in Him” These are Jesus’ words. Jesus abides in us. His power rest on us, abides in us when we boast, declare, and delight in our weaknesses. What an incredible truth!!

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.” 2 Corin 12:9a

Christ’s POWER is perfected in weakness. Who doesn’t want Christ’s power to be perfected in them? Whew. Paul knew this and lived it. #goals

So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties, for the sake of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corin 12:10

Don’t let your pride keep you from experiencing the POWER of Christ in your life. It’s so freeing. We don’t need to cling to our dignity, we need to cling to Jesus. When we are weak, then we are strong. Admit your weaknesses, your struggles, we all have them. Admit your desperate need for Jesus, He didn’t come for those who are well, but the sick. (Mark 2:17)

Just admit it.

Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. John 12:24

One year ago, April 2, 2020, one of the devotionals I read was titled, “Death Brings Much Fruit” and it really spoke to me AGAIN. It had the year before too, in 2019.

Two years ago, beside the words

“You may discover selfishness lingering in your life when you ought to be sharing what you have in the name of Christ”

I had written, USE YOUR VOICE.

These were the words God had given me when praying about my purpose. I knew He had been prompting me to start putting the things He has been teaching me online.

At this time in 2019 I was still hesitant to do this, I didn’t want to fall into doing from a prideful place or make it about me. I wanted it to be about Jesus and I knew my prideful nature could really screw it up. It would still be another 4 months before I would finally post my first vlog. Obedience doesn’t always come easy, especially for my stubborn self. But I have learned there are blessings that follow obedience.

In 2019 I wrote these bullets down on this day:

-laziness

-emotional eating

-over planning/minimal doing

-procrastination

Soooo speaking of that, I created this blog page 2 years ago. Paid for the domain and it has just been here unused. I was reminded of it this morning when reading that same devotion that spoke to me for 2 years.

Last year in 2020 I wrote on the page of this devotional – DECIDE. Decide was my word/focus for 2020. I said to myself, “Irene you have to decide. Decide if you are going to continue in behaviors that are helping your growth or hindering it, you’re either living for Jesus or yourself and you can’t do both”

As 2020 progressed, I would still struggle in all the areas listed above. The devotion also said, “If these sinful attitudes are allowed to remain alive, they will stifle the fruits of the Spirit.” It was a year of really hashing out my motives and addressing behaviors that hindered the Spirit at work in my life. I’ve learned a lot and am still learning. I genuinely want to help others grow in their faith and walk in true freedom that Christ died to give us.

So this morning, as I was reminded of this blog I created, I decided to make it public. This is in addition to my vlog teachings to share what Christ has done for me and what I have learned walking with Him. It’s been a beautiful journey and I’m looking forward to sharing with you guys!!

Is there anything God is showing you that you need to make a decision on?

(Devotional comes from Experiencing God Day-by-Day by Henry T. Blackaby and Richard Blackaby)